6 Really Important Sex Questions and the Answers

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Humans are curious creatures. There are so many stimuli that surround us on a daily basis that we get inundated with a lot of unimportant information. So, while the topic of sex intrigues us, much of the information we learn about it can come from unreliable sources.


Of course, you can ask your partner questions directly to learn more about their wants, desires, and preferences, which we’ll get to later in this article, but you should also know a certain number of sexual facts. 


Important Sex Questions to Know for Yourself

#1 – Will I Orgasm Every Time I Have Sex?

Probably not. 


Research has shown that only 46% of women reported they almost always have an orgasm during intercourse. 


It’s reported that men reach orgasm 75% of the time. 


#2 – Does Penis Size Matter?

Not particularly. Penis size is a personal preference. Some people prefer larger ones and other people like a smaller, compact size. 


So, no, bigger is not necessarily bigger. In fact, bigger and/or longer penises can sometimes be uncomfortable during sex. 


The bottom line is that whatever your penis size, you know how to maximize function via performance, sex positions, and the desire to please your partner. 


#3 – Are Making Babies the Only Reason to Have Sex?

While sex is key for pregnancy, pleasure is most often the real reason behind sexual desires. 


Throughout history, sexual relations were important for men wanting to perpetuate their genes and bloodline. Studies show humans are hard-wired for evolutionary sex. 


However, the top reasons for having sex, in addition to pleasure, are stress relief, sexual curiosity, or attraction to a person. 


#4 – Is Sex Supposed to Hurt? 

Nope. Sex is not supposed to hurt. 


Sex can be uncomfortable because of lack of proper lubrication. According to clinical studies, lubricants can be used to make sex more comfortable, fun and pleasurable, and to decrease discomfort and pain. 


It’s important to know that painful sex can be caused by underlying conditions, so contact your doctor if symptoms are persistent. 


It’s also a good idea to always have plenty of lubricant on hand. 


#5 – Is Sex the Most Important Thing in a Relationship?

Sure, sex can be an important part of a relationship, but there are other ways to be intimate without having penetrative sex. 


Being sexually active is only part of a relationship. The butterflies and fireworks of new relationships can fade. Making efforts to keep sex pleasurable and fun can help bond partners, but please know that sexual activities can fluctuate during the course of a relationship. 


So, the bottom line is—sex isn’t always necessary for a healthy relationship. 


#6 – Will My Sexual Preferences Always Stay the Same? 

Not necessarily. What arouses you may change throughout your lifetime. You may find yourself attracted to a particular type of vibration, and then try suction or pulsation sex toys and be hooked on that stimulation for a while. 


You may also find yourself attracted to different genders, different types of erotica and visual stimulation as you age. You may find your libido goes through dry spots. 


Research has found that a person’s sexual tastes are not set in stone. 


Important Sex Questions to Ask Your Partner

Sex is not usually a topic that many people discuss with their partners. Sex can be uncomfortable to discuss. It’s a highly charged, emotional subject that is personal. 


But it’s important to have these intimate discussions because better communication between you and your partner leads to more trust in each other, and increased trust leads to more confidence. And confidence is sexy! 


10 important questions to inspire your most intimate conversations (or to get them started!):

1. What is your favorite part of sex (foreplay, snuggling, or the main event)?

2. Is it important for you to have an orgasm?

3. When do you feel closest to me during sex?

4. What do you need from me when we have sex?

5. What are pleasurable sensations for you?

6. Tell me what you like most about our sexual activities?

7. How would you like me to touch you?

8. What turns you on?

9. What turns you off?

10. What do you wish we would try sexually?


Being in touch with your partner’s desires may help you be better, happier, and more satisfied in the bedroom. 


Remember to be caring with your partner and give them a safe space to answer your questions honestly. 


Next Level Sex Questions

So, you and your partner have hammered out the answers to those important sex questions. What’s next?


If you are up for extra credit, I’ve included a few questions that may help direct you to what your sexual relationship needs next. 


  • Do you have a favorite sex position?
  • What was your best orgasm ever?
  • Do you like to be loud, or quiet, during sex?
  • What’s missing from our sex life? (hair tugging, dirty talk, etc.)
  • What’s your favorite sex toy?
  • Do you prefer to be in control or submissive?
  • Rough or romantic?
  • What’s your favorite method of foreplay?
  • What’s your favorite place to be kissed?
  • Do you crave emotional arousal?


According to research, having a satisfying intimate relationship was important to 61% of married adults. This means knowing more about your partner’s intimate likes and dislikes can be incredibly important for the health of your relationship. 


Use these questions to learn more about yourself, your desires, and those of your partner. Use the information gathered to create a healthier, more satisfying love life. 


Did you learn something new in this article? Are you ready to ask your partner those important sex-related questions? Please send me your questions and comments. I’m always here to help you.

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Dr. Sunny Rodgers is a clinician, author, and speaker who has worked in the wellness industry since 2000. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, a Master of Arts in Clinical Sexology, and is an accredited Sexual Health Educator. She is the Founder of The Institute of Intimate Health, an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association, regular lecturer for the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Sexual Confidence Coach for the Marigold App, and a professional Sex Toy Concierge™. Rodgers hosted a popular weekly show on Playboy Radio, has been an expert guest on several TV and radio programs, and is a regular contributor to HuffPost, Men's Health, Cosmo, Bustle, and many more publications.