Human beings strive for more money, higher status, and better sex. Studies have shown that it’s innate to human nature to feel like enough is never enough. We can have all the money and achievements in the world, but still feel there’s something missing.
Does this describe you?
Whether you’re an over-achiever or just plain bored, I’ve put together eight sex tips to help your sex life.
1. Take Responsibility for Your Orgasm!
Too many times people expect their partners to “give” them orgasms. Unfortunately, in most cases, your partner is also waiting for you to give them one. You see how this won’t work for either partner, right?
Approximately 30% of women reach orgasm with penetrative sex. That means 70% of us need to become more actively hands-on.
Become better acquainted with you own body. Masturbation and self-stimulation can help you learn where your erogenous areas are, what type of vibration arouses you, and how you like certain body parts stimulated. All this intimate knowledge can then be used during sex play to help you reach your own orgasm.
2. Show & Tell Can Be Life Changing
Let’s say you followed the recommendations outlined in #1 and found the crease along your buttocks to be extremely sensitive. Letting your lover know that you would like them to caress that area – or spank it – can help lead to more pleasure fulfillment.
But what if you’re the shy type? Then “showing” your lover can also work. Guide their hand to the area you’d like them to give attention to. Hold their hand and apply pressure or loving strokes to the area you’ve chosen. Afterward, you can shyly tell them how incredible it felt. It may take a couple of tries, but they should eventually pick up on your hints and realize where your “hot spots” are.
3. Two Words – Couples. Toy.
Sex toys revolutionized orgasms and couple’s toys are helping save marriages.
The great thing about couple’s toys, especially wearable ones, is that they’re created to provide direct stimulation to erogenous areas during sexual activities. This means you don’t have to manually caress a clitoris or perineum. The toy takes care of that for you.
For an even better experience, consider a version with a remote control so you can both take turns being in charge of the sensations. Not knowing whether your partner is going to give you strong vibration or gentle pulsation can be incredibly arousing.
4. Seduce Yourself
Did you know that your strongest sexual organ is your brain? This is because it’s where sexual arousal truly begins.
So before you even start foreplay, spend time getting yourself in the mood. This can be closing your eyes and imagining your favorite sexual fantasies, listening to music that turns you on, reading erotica, or another activity that gets your blood flowing.
Your partner may be surprised by your sudden passion!
5. Pretend Porn
Give yourself and your partner permission to create your own porn, sans camera. Draft an outline, decide upon your characters, and even consider a few props.
Role playing in sexual situations can allow lovers to enjoy fantasies they wouldn’t otherwise. While you may be curious about trying handcuffs, you may not consider yourself a person who would use them. But, what if your pretend porn “character” tried them?
This can be a safe way to test your sexual desires. And, depending upon how your pretend porn experience turns out, your character can be revised for next time.
One last suggestion here—create a “porn” nickname. Studies have found that your name affects your personality. By choosing a sexy name for your sex life persona, you may unleash a side of your sexual personality that may otherwise remain hidden.
6. Turn Your Bedroom into a Sex Den
Even if it’s just for date night, making sexy changes to your bedroom can help amp up your sex play.
I’m not talking about a Sex Swing, although that should be a consideration, I’m suggesting candles, aphrodisiac scents in a diffuser, a faux-fur blanket tossed across the top of the bed, and maybe some cheeky under the mattress restraints.
One of the reasons so many people enjoy hotel sex is because it can be a “clean” environment that doesn’t remind them of work or children’s toys.
Clean up your bedroom and create a space that screams sex! It can be a turn on being led into a room knowing that your partner is craving a rowdy lovemaking session.
7. Sleep In
Studies have found that women who sleep poorly are twice as likely to develop sexual dysfunction. In contrast, the study also found that enjoying good quality sleep was directly linked to having more sexual activity.
Orgasms have been found to relax the body and promote sleep.
For women, estrogen levels increase after orgasm, and that can enhance REM cycles and promote better sleep. While for men, orgasms increase production of prolactin, a hormone known to promote deep wave sleep, which is the type needed for the body to repair and restore itself.
So, quite simply consider sex for better sleep—and sleep for better sex.
8. Be Grateful
True, you may find it interesting that I included this on my list. But, psychologists believe being grateful is the key ultimate happiness. They reason that if we aren’t grateful for great sex, it will fall into the hole of things we take for granted.
This concept is called hedonic adaptation and it can even cause us to take our partner’s love for granted.
So, what can you do? Express your gratitude!
Try acknowledging and thanking your partner for their love—and their lovemaking. Harvard Health has linked gratitude to greater happiness, positive emotions, and stronger relationships, making this element a well-recommended course of action to try.
What’s your best Sex Tip? Have one of the recommended tips or techniques worked for you? Please send me your questions and comments. I’m always here to help you.
