Are You A Secret Masturbator?

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Most people consider masturbation to be a private matter. But, it’s far from uncommon. According to a recent study,  the average woman masturbates twice a week, while for men, it’s four times. 

Why Is Masturbation Such A Private Matter?  

According to WebMD, masturbation is a healthy sexual activity that is pleasant, fulfilling, acceptable, and safe. So why are so many people sneaking around to enjoy it? 


A global study found 84% of Americans masturbate regularly but most people don’t talk about it. This may be because throughout history some institutions and religions have shunned the practice of self-pleasure, with various faiths claiming it was a bad habit that could lead towards sexual promiscuity. The Dalai Lama has even been reported as disapproving of the practice. 


Regardless of the reason, it’s evident that some people may feel guilty about solo sex. 


Personally, I believe that sexual organs are meant to give you pleasure. Whether that pleasure is personal or shared with another, it’s OK. I give you permission to enjoy a date with yourself every once in a while, because masturbation has been shown to be universal, healthy, and a good way to combat stress. 

Masturbation Is Healthy 

Masturbation and nonpenetrative sex were shown to help people feel calm and help prevent an increase in blood pressure during stressful events, according to a study by the Biological Psychology journal


Some benefits of masturbation may include:

  • Reduction in stress level
  • Release of tension
  • Elevated mood
  • Better sleep quality


For women, masturbation can be a gamechanger because it can enhance sex drive and help with natural lubrication–which can help better prepare women for partnered sex.


For men, masturbation is reported as being beneficial for your immune system and could possibly fight depression. 


Plus, solo sex relieves stress by raising endorphins and other hormones that elevate mood. During orgasm your body also releases oxytocin, known as the love hormone, which acts as a natural sedative and can trigger feelings of good cheer.  

What If Your Children Attend Online School & Your Spouse Works Remotely? 

2020 is much different than years past. According to the UK government, approximately one-third of their workforce are working from home. Globally, major companies are encouraging their employees to work remotely. 


Many children have learn in online classrooms and campuses. 


This means there may be less time, and privacy, in your life to enjoy self-pleasure. 


Luckily, I have some pointers that may help with your adjustments to this new normal. Here are three quick tips that may help you enjoy more personal pleasure time. 


3 Tips for finding Self-Pleasure in a Full House:

  1. Find. Quiet. Sex Toys. I recommend petite, rechargeable sex toys because they usually have smaller, more efficient motors that in turn will be quieter. These tiny toys can also help move solo sex play along quicker, so you won’t be missed for too long. Plus, waterproof toys are perfect for personal time in the bath and shower! 
  2. Everyone in your household needs quiet time. So, schedule it. This quiet time can be your haven for you—or for you and your partner. 
  3. Plan a Late-Night Personal Play Date. Masturbation can help with relaxation and falling asleep. Turning on a white-noise machine and enjoying some time to yourself may be the perfect end to your day.

Bonus Tip for Partnered-Pleasure in a Full HouseQuiet Sex is very arousing! Quiet sex play can instantly make the situation innately sexy and intimate between partners. You’re instantly co-conspirators in a common “plot”, which is great for bonding. I recommend showing your partner just how good sex is with your eyes, your hands, and the way your body is responding. No words needed. 

More Sex, Less Stress

While research has found that having sex daily for two weeks led to lower stress, masturbation also has healthy benefits. Solo play can release tension and provide a feeling of deep relaxation.

Plus, masturbation draws additional blood flow to the pelvic floor. This healthy blood flow and circulation helps increase sensitivity and arousal, subsequently boosting sex drives. And knowing what sexual stimulation you enjoy can make you more confident. These benefits can spill over into your partnered love life. 

Are you trying to find personal play time in your own home? How has this year changed your masturbation habits? Are there solo sex tips you’d like to share with me? I’d love to hear from you! And if you have questions, I am always here to help you.
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Dr. Sunny Rodgers is a clinician, author, and speaker who has worked in the wellness industry since 2000. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, a Master of Arts in Clinical Sexology, and is an accredited Sexual Health Educator. She is the Founder of The Institute of Intimate Health, an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association, regular lecturer for the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Sexual Confidence Coach for the Marigold App, and a professional Sex Toy Concierge™. Rodgers hosted a popular weekly show on Playboy Radio, has been an expert guest on several TV and radio programs, and is a regular contributor to HuffPost, Men's Health, Cosmo, Bustle, and many more publications.