Peak Performance! How You Can Control Your Climax to guard against Rapid Ejaculation

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Have you ever been fully immersed in great sex…. and suddenly, your climax happens, all too quickly. 

Life can be unpredictable. But the length of your sex play doesn’t have to be. 

Let’s explore ways you can combat rapid ejaculation.

What is Rapid Ejaculation?

Rapid ejaculation is also known as premature ejaculation (PE), premature climax or early ejaculation.

Rapid ejaculation occurs when a person with a penis reaches climax and ejaculates sooner than desired during sex. From a medical standpoint, premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculation that occurs in less than one minute from the moment of penetration.

Ejaculation in less than one-minute sounds quick, but let’s take a look at how long sexual intercourse usually lasts.

How Long Does Sex Last?

A 2005 study surveyed a total of 500 couples from five countries: the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the United States. Researchers found that the average time from the moment of penetration to ejaculation was 5.4 minutes. A 2007 study found the average ejaculation time during intercourse was 8.25 minutes. And, according to a 2008 study, the average sexual experience lasts from 3-7 minutes. 

So, most often, sex lasts somewhere in the range of 3-8.25 minutes. 

However, the male species is innately programmed to ejaculate quickly—most often lasting less than five minutes from first penetration. And stress can cut this time period even further. 


Stress is a Big Factor

While rapid ejaculation can be caused by both physical and psychological factors, the Journal for the Science and Art of Andrology and Urology reports stress, anxiety, and depression have been shown to be closely linked to premature ejaculation.  

A study published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine cited depression as significantly increasing the risk of experiencing rapid ejaculation.  

In addition, inexperience, overexcitement, and lack of sexual education can all factor into rapid ejaculation. 

There is No Pill to Fix P.E.

Currently, no medications are officially licensed in the U.S. for treating premature ejaculation, but some antidepressants have been found to help some men delay ejaculation. 

While there are topical formulas, such as lidocaine or prilocaine, which claim to improve the amount of time before ejaculation, they often result in numbness, reduced sensation, and possible loss of erection.  

Being able to control your ejaculation is the ultimate remedy that most men are seeking.


Peak Performance! How You Can Control Your Climax 

Physical erection control is an interesting topic. In ancient Taoist sexual practices, male control of ejaculation played a substantial part of their beliefs. Some men were known to apply pressure on their perineum to keep sperm from being released. 

Today, there are a few suggestions I give to my male patients wishing to last longer in bed—and I’d like to share them with you!


Mentally Prepare

Being mentally prepared is an interesting aspect when desiring to extend sex play and your erection. 

What I recommend to my male patients is to keep their mind completely focused on “the now”. Some men find their minds straying to everyday tasks or something else they need to do. Others fantasize about a model, a friend, someone they passed on the sidewalk… Or, they are so focused on their own pleasure that they naturally speed up during sex play. 

By corralling your mind, you can last longer. 

I suggest you slow down and focus on each thrust individually. Focus on your partner’s pleasure. Focus on the lovely sensations that accompany sex. 

By keeping your mind fully into the act of sex, you’ll find you can better slow down when you’re feeling too close to ejaculation and speed up again after the feeling has passed. 

Being mindfully intentional during sex play can greatly enhance the entire pleasure bonding experience, as well as make it last longer. Plus, from the feedback I’ve received, I can share that your partner will also appreciate your attentiveness. 


SexEd That Works

Sexual education isn’t included in most school curriculum today. This means you may not be aware of your own erogenous or that it’s healthy to practice sexual techniques. 

Give yourself time alone to explore what feels good and what doesn’t. 

First, explore erogenous zones, which are areas of your body that, when stimulated, can create a response in the region of the brain known as the genital sensory cortex. This brain response signals a sexual response. In most instances, sexual responses occur when the frenulum is stimulated—which is the male version of the clitoris, which we’ll discuss more in just a moment. 

With most of my patients, areas of the body where the skin is thinnest seemed to be places where sensitivity is heightened and can lead to arousal. Common secondary erogenous areas are the crook of the arm, earlobes, and the back of the neck. 

I suggest you explore touching your inner thighs, testes, nipples, and other areas to find out where you experience the most pleasurable sensations. Knowing your high response zones can help you avoid them during foreplay and sex play, which may help extend the length of your erection. 


The Frenulum is a Magic Button

The frenulum is located on the upper underside of the penis next to the coronal ridge. So basically, it’s snuggled right underneath the underside of the head of your penis. 

Stimulating your frenulum can be extremely pleasurable. It can also lead to rapid ejaculation. Consider wearing a condom to dampen stimulation of this sensitive spot. 


An Intimate Exercise Program for Ejaculation Control – Meet Edging! 

Also called peaking and surfing, edging is teaching yourself orgasm control. 

Edging is an intimate exercise program where you masturbate until you’re close to climax… and then you stop! Breath. Intentionally back away from ejaculating. And then you repeat this over and over. 

To master this skill, its suggested to practice for about 5-10 minutes every other day. You can practice with your hand or with a stroker. And lubricant can add comfort to your lessons. 

By practicing edging, you can learn to prolong ejaculation time. Realize that just like anything else that’s learned, you need to give it time to see and feel the results of your hard work. Just don’t give up!

As an added benefit, the longer your climax can be delayed, the stronger the physical sensations will be when orgasm is reached. 


Try an Erection Ring 

In order to keep or extend an erection, an erection ring or cock ring can be slid down the penis shaft and placed at the base of the penis. The erection ring restricts blood flow and can help delay ejaculation. Wearing a cock ring around your penis and testicles can help delay ejaculation even further.

Tip: An erection ring should never be worn for longer than 20 minutes at a time. 


Now You’re Armed and In Control

I’ve suggested a few things to try if you wish to be in better control of your ejaculations. Use one, or more, to find the combination of techniques that work for you. 

Let’s quickly recap your options for extending ejaculation time:

  • Mentally prepare and try to limit your stress
  • Know your erogenous zones 
  • Try wearing a condom to lessen sensations
  • Practice edging 
  • Consider an erection ring

Please share your experiences with me! I want to know what works, and doesn’t work, for you. Remember, I am here to help you.

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Dr. Sunny Rodgers is a clinician, author, and speaker who has worked in the wellness industry since 2000. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, a Master of Arts in Clinical Sexology, and is an accredited Sexual Health Educator. She is the Founder of The Institute of Intimate Health, an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association, regular lecturer for the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Sexual Confidence Coach for the Marigold App, and a professional Sex Toy Concierge™. Rodgers hosted a popular weekly show on Playboy Radio, has been an expert guest on several TV and radio programs, and is a regular contributor to HuffPost, Men's Health, Cosmo, Bustle, and many more publications.