Sex Facts Are Sometimes Just Fake News

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Do men really have higher sex drives than women? Do women usually orgasm during penetrative sex? Is bigger truly better?

We’ve all heard the rumours, myths, and tall tales surrounding sex. It’s time to take a look at some of these misconceptions and see which ones are just fake news!


Men always have higher sex drives than women – Fake News! 

There is no single measurement of sex drive so this is an interesting assumption. The brain is a more powerful sexual organ than genitalia because it’s where sex drive stems from so it may seem like men have a higher sex drive just because men do tend to think about sex more often. 

Women also adapt more easily to sexual norms, whereas men are driven by urges and cravings, so this may have led to this common myth. 

According to the authors of Understanding Human Sexuality, women may actually have a stronger sex drive than men. 

A August 2017 study surveyed couples in long term relationships and found that 59% of women preferred more sex , compared to only 41% of men surveyed. 

I’ve found that with the many patients I’ve spoken with, sex drives are unique to each and every individual and can change over the course of a person’s life.  


Women usually orgasm from penetration – Fake News!

According to a 2015 study by the Journal of Sex, 18.4% of women reported that intercourse alone was sufficient for orgasm, 36.6% reported clitoral stimulation was necessary for orgasm during intercourse, and an additional 36% indicated that, while clitoral stimulation was not needed, their orgasms feel better if their clitoris is stimulated during intercourse. 

These findings, in addition to many other studies, show that the majority of women cannot orgasm through penetration, and most women need specific clitoral stimulation to bring them to actual orgasm. 


Sex isn’t good for keeping you in shape – Fake News! 

Actually, sex can burn a lot of calories! I’ve done a lot of research on sex play and burning calories. My interest was piqued when I was on vacation and learned I could burn approximately 600 calories an hour while scuba diving.  

Sex accelerates heart rate, definitely gets blood flowing, and raises metabolism. The number of calories burned depends on how vigorous your sex session is. However, you can pop parameters into the calorie-burning calculator over at and find a scientific calculation for your sex sessions. 

I feel sex is a great calorie-burning exercise to help keep people in shape because it’s incredibly enjoyable and just about everyone can partake in it without any skill necessary. No equipment is needed. No gym membership. No hand-eye coordination is required. It’s an inexpensive way to get a blood-flowing workout without spending a lot of money, having to learn a new skill, or even having to get dressed in gym-required apparel. And it’s one workout that’s guaranteed to give you a smile. 

To put this all into perspective, let’s just say a couple burns 100 calories every time they have sex. If they have sex approximately three times each week, they can burn over 15,000 calories a year without ever visiting the gym! 


Size is everything – Fake News!

Only if we’re talking about the size of Starbucks coffee you prefer. 

That old saying is true – it’s not the size of your boat, it’s the motion of your ocean. There are so many techniques, positions, and enhancement products available now that size is not the only relevant factor for sexual satisfaction. 

Penises are a varied bunch. Size and shape are unique to each individual. What is perfect for one person can be too large or too small for another. Plus, with all of the external life factors evident in our world today, many of our male population can experience size fluctuations due to anxiety. 


You’ll “just know” when you have an orgasm – Fake News! 

I’ve met many women who truly do not know if they’ve actually had an orgasm or not. This can be common. 

I feel this has a lot to do with faking orgasms and that it’s become such a common practice that women copy-cat what they see as an orgasmic response on movies or online. They also believe that sex will always bring them to orgasm, which just isn’t true. So, many women are left bewildered and feeling like they aren’t getting the punchline of a universal joke. 

There are ways that a person can determine if what they’re experiencing is indeed an orgasm. This is because an orgasm is a bodily function that can happen involuntarily and creates changes in the body when it occurs. When a woman orgasms her heart rate and blood pressure will increase resulting in a flush to her skin, and her muscles will tense, especially in her pelvic floor. This is followed by the release of tension and a feeling of deep relaxation. Yes, it will feel very good. 

Some women’s telltale signs are more subtle, and it could take a few orgasmic experiences before she figures out that those are sexual climaxes she’s experiencing.  


Orgasm is the goal of sex – Fake News!

An orgasm can be a happy byproduct of sex but should never be the ultimate goal. 

Sex can be many things – a release, a satisfying experience, a stress-reliever, a way to make a baby, a way to boost hormones or raise ones’ self-esteem. So, sex can have many goals, or none at all! 

For most, sex is a form of intimate bonding. The most popular goal of sex is to feel closer to the person you’re sharing your body with. 


A vagina gets looser the more sex you have – Fake News!

Just like penises, vaginas are all unique. Some vaginas are tighter or looser than others. 

Vaginas are a bit miraculous because they can stretch and widen in preparation for sex, and then magically tighten themselves after sex. However, there is no correlation between wider vaginas and the frequency of sex. 

Are there sex myths that you’ve wondered about? Do you agree that some sex “facts” may just be fake news? Please share your thoughts with me! And if you have any questions, I’m always here to help. 

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Dr. Sunny Rodgers is a clinician, author, and speaker who has worked in the wellness industry since 2000. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality, a Master of Arts in Clinical Sexology, and is an accredited Sexual Health Educator. She is the Founder of The Institute of Intimate Health, an Ambassador for the American Sexual Health Association, regular lecturer for the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Sexual Confidence Coach for the Marigold App, and a professional Sex Toy Concierge™. Rodgers hosted a popular weekly show on Playboy Radio, has been an expert guest on several TV and radio programs, and is a regular contributor to HuffPost, Men's Health, Cosmo, Bustle, and many more publications.