Let’s cut to the chase, clitoral stimulation is a big effing deal. Why? Well, research shows that for Assigned Female at Birth (AFAB) folks, clitoral stimulation is where it’s at in terms of orgasmic potential. Seriously, for many folks with vulvas, clitoral stimulation is a necessity for them to have an orgasm. Additionally, clitoral stimulation can help with arousal and lubrication and, frankly, it just plain feels good.
All of this is to say, if you have a clitoris or are having sex with someone who does, clit stimulation can be a key component of a pleasurable, orgasmic, mind-blowing sexual experience. In fact, according to a 2015 survey, 37% of AFAB respondents reported that they required clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.
The thing is, not all sexual positions effectively stimulate the clitoris. So today we’re talking about clitoral stimulation: how you can get it, how long it should take, and what sex positions or adult sex toys can provide it!
What is the clitoris?
Before we get down to stimulating the clitoris, let’s get clear on what it is. The clitoris is the erectile part of the vulvar anatomy and it is located toward the front end of the vulva. A cool thing about the clitoris is that its only function is providing sexual pleasure. Unlike say the penis or the vagina which both play a role in reproduction, the clitoris is really just there to make you feel pleasure.
The clitoris is extremely sensitive. The clitoral glans (the part that is visible from the outside of the body) is packed with nerve endings. Lots of people say it has 8,000 nerve endings but that little tidbit came from research done on cows so that number might not be so right for people. Regardless, it’s got a LOT of nerve endings.
Where is the clitoris?
A lot of folks are out there acting like the clitoris is super hard to find but-- spoiler alert!-- it really isn’t. It is located under a hood (aka, the clitoral hood) at the point where the inner labia meet at the front of the body. When you are standing up, it is in front of the vagina and the urethra (This, not the vagina, is where urine comes out. Spread the word!). If you want to be exact about it, the clitoris is typically located anywhere between 2.5 and 4 centimeters from the vaginal entrance.
All that said, the clitoris is kind of like an iceberg: there’s the little bit you see from the outside and then a WHOLE LOT MORE below the surface. The part you can see from the outside is just the tip of the clitoris! The rest forms a wishbone shape with legs that run along either side of the vagina and extend about 5 inches into the body.
How can I increase my clitoral stimulation?
Before we get down to sex positions, let’s just talk about how you can, in general get more clitoral stimulation.
- Add a sex toy: So many great sex toys-- specifically vibrators-- are made for this purpose! Whether you need pinpoint stimulation that zeroes right in on the tip of the clitoris or broader stimulation that helps get all parts of it, there’s a clit vibrator out there that will help with that.
- Try sex positions where someone’s hands are free for stimulation: As you’ll see in a moment, when we get down to talking positions, it’s not always about the clitoris being stimulated as part of the penetration, it can be a simple as adopting positions where your hands (or your partner’s) are free to provide some extra clitoral stimulation.
- Grind it out: Grinding is a surprisingly effective way to stimulate the clitoris. Whether on a partner’s body or a piece of furniture, the grinding can do wonders for the clitoris.
- Use Props: Sometimes it’s about creating the ideal circumstances for clitoral stimulation and props can help you get into (and stay in) an ideal position.
How long does it take for clitoral stimulation?
There’s no one answer to this question. Really, it takes as long as it takes and that can be different for everyone. Some folks might take 30 seconds while others might take 30 minutes. Neither answer is good or bad, right or wrong. Listen to your body and give it the stimulation or foreplay it needs.
Best Positions for Clitoral Stimulation
CAT (Coital Alignment Technique)
This one is a clitoral stimulation classic! It’s basically a tweak on missionary that maximizes the potential for clitoral bliss. The receiving partner lies on their back and the penetrating partner positions themselves a bit higher along the receiving partner’s body than they would during traditional missionary. This allows the receiving partner to grind against the penetrating partner’s pubis and it can make it so the penetrating phallus (penis or dildo) rubs against the clitoris. This one is more about grinding, rubbing, and rocking than full-on thrusting and the receiving partner can experiment with squeezing their legs a bit closer together or wrapping their feet around their partner’s calves to find the most effective method.
Doggie Style
This falls under the category of “positions that leave hands free for clitoral stimulation”. The receiving partner is on their hands and knees while the penetrating partner enters them from behind. You can experiment with the penetrating partner using their hands or a toy to stimulate the clitoris or the receiving partner can lower their chest down to the bed or rest the upper body on a cushion so their arms are free to pursue clitoral pleasure!
Tabletop
Don’t let the name fool you, you don’t have to do this one on a table (but you totally can, you do you!). The receiving partner lies with their tush at the edge or a bed, couch, table, or other stable surface and the penetrating partner stands in front of them. Both partners can stimulate the clitoris with their hands or a toy and the penetrating partner can try leaning forward to pump up the clitoral friction (in a good way!). BONUS: lots of potential for intimacy and sexy eye contact in this face-to-face position.
Criss Cross
This one is really just a bit of a variation that can be added on to any sex position where the receiving partners legs are on the penetrating partner’s shoulders (Missionary, Tabletop etc). The receiving partner lies on their back and raises their legs up toward the ceiling. The penetrating partner will either be standing or up on their knees. They then enter the receiving partner and then, the receiving partner, keeping their legs as straight as possible, carefully crosses the legs at the ankles or calves. This will create a tighter sensation for the penetrating partner and can add some more friction to the clitoris of the receiving partner. If flexibility allows you can bump up that friction by having the penetrating partner lean forward.
Butterfly
This one is like an advanced variation of Tabletop. The receiving partner lies on their back with their tush right at the edge of a bed or a sturdy table. The penetrating partner stands in front of them. Then the receiving partner lifts their hips and rests their legs on the active partner’s shoulders (you can also incorporate a pillow or sex positioning wedge to keep the receiving partner comfortable). From here the penetrating partner can hold onto the legs while thrusting and the receiving partner can stimulate the clitoris.
Lotus
Want cuddly intimacy, deep penetration, and clitoral stimulation in one position? Then this one's for you! The penetrating partner sits on the bed or floor cross legged or with their legs out straight. Receiving partner straddles them and lowers themself down and both partners wrap their arms around each other. Focus on grinding against each other and if you want to up the clitoral stimulation even more, have the receiving partner rock their pelvis in an up and down motion.
Cowpoke
Another classic! The penetrating partner lies flat on their back with their legs out straight.
The receiving partner straddles them with their knees on either side, facing their head and takes control of the motion, finding the best pace, depth, and angle of penetration for them. Take the clitoral stimulation to the next level by finding your ideal grinding angle (you’ll know it when you feel it) or by using either partner’s hands or a toy.
Reverse Cowpoke
Now let’s turn it around! The penetrating partner lies flat on their back with their legs out straight.
The receiving partner straddles them, facing their feet and takes control of the motion. The angle of penetration is different here than in Cowpoke so explore what feels best. Once again you can stimulate the clitoris with hands or a toy.
Side Saddle
Okay, so this Cowpoke variation may sound weird but trust us, it can feel amazing! The penetrating partner lies on their back and positions one leg with the knee bent and foot on the floor. The receiving partner gets on top, facing the feet, like in Reverse Cowpoke, and slides down onto the penetrating partner with their body angled toward the bent leg allowing for that leg to rub against the clitoris with each movement.
V for Victory!
The receiving partner lies on their back with their legs in the air and spread into a wide “V” position”. The penetrating partner enters them and positions themselves so their upper arms are pressing on the receiving partner’s calves. Either partner can up the intensity by holding onto the receiving partner’s ankles. If flexibility allows, the penetrating partner can press forward and down to hit the clitoris with each thrust. Alternately, the penetrating partner can perform deeper penetration and stay there focusing on rocking, circular, or up and down motions while their pelvis presses against the clitoris.
There you go folks! Whether you are just starting to figure this clitoris thing out, or are a seasoned clit stimulator, the positions here will help you take it to the next level. Remember, when you are trying things out, you want to communicate with each other, stay comfortable and above all, have fun!
We talked a lot today about the best sex positions that allow you to stimulate the clitoris by using a sex toy, so now might be a great time to consider picking one up. From big wand massagers to small but powerful bullet vibes, PinkCherry’s selection of adult sex toys and lube is ready, willing, and able to help you stock up on everything you need to explore and experiment your way to clitoral ecstasy!
