When it comes to safer sex, there’s plenty of information out there about the benefits of condoms. The problem is, a lot of that information treats condoms like they are a “one size fits all” proposition. The internet is riddled with videos featuring people stretching condoms over their entire arms to demonstrate that there’s no such thing as a male condom that is too tight. Add to that the pressure and self-consciousness that can come with discussions of penis size and the pervasive misconception that bigger is always better, and what do you get? People wearing condoms that are the wrong size for their penis.
Despite what you may have heard, condom size matters. Wearing ill-fitting condoms can put you and your partner at risk for a whole slew of unintended consequences, including:
- Decreased sensation
- Discomfort
- Condom breakage
- Slippage
- Pregnancy
- Spread of STIs
But what about those videos we mentioned earlier? The ones that “prove” standard-size condoms can fit anyone doing deep penetrating sexual positions? Well, think of it this way: you wear a certain size of clothing, right? Now you can put on clothes that are a bigger size or cram yourself into clothes that are a smaller size but that does not prove those clothes “fit” you. Being able to put something on your body doesn’t mean that it fits you comfortably or securely.
Much like trying to go out in jeans that are two sizes two small or a skirt that is two sizes too big, wearing the wrong size condom-- one that makes you constantly think about how uncomfortably tight it is or worry about splitting it open or having it fall off-- is, at best, a distraction that will come between you and your pleasure, and, at worst, a dangerous risk to take. It can even stop you from experimenting with different types of thrusting techniques.
This is why today we are talking about condom size! How you can tell if yours is too loose, too tight, or just right and what you can do to find your ideal fit. So read on to learn more about getting the best condom fit you can.
How Do You Know If A Condom Fits Properly?
A properly fitting male condom should cover the entire length of the penis, leaving a 1/2 inch of room at the tip, and be snug but not tight. Like with just about anything you might wear, your condom should be comfortable enough that you aren’t worrying about it all the time, which you will do if it’s tight enough to uncomfortably squeeze the penis or loose enough that it’s flopping around or sliding off!.
Now, a lot of folks believe that condoms are, by their nature, tight and uncomfortable or that the mere presence of a standard condom means that will be the only thing they think about. In short, a lot of folks just don’t like wearing condoms. But being honest about how condoms fit (are they actually too tight or do you just find them annoying?) and finding the ones that fit you comfortably not only keeps you and your partners safer, it can also make for more satisfying sex.
How Tight Should Condoms Feel?
If a condom fits correctly, it will stay securely in place without exerting any kind of binding or squeezing pressure on the penis. An uncomfortably snug or tight condom can actually make it difficult to maintain an erection or reach orgasm.
Some indicators that a condom is too tight include:
- The rim is squeezing resulting in bulging on either side.
- The penis fills the condom all the way to the tip: there should be at least half-inch of space at the tip left to collect semen.
- When unrolled, the condom does not reach the base of the penis leaving some of the penis bare.
In general, whether a condom is too tight is something that can really only be determined by the wearer but there are some things partners can look out for. For example, if you are rolling a condom onto a partner’s penis and it looks very tight (think shrink-wrap), check in with them to see if they are comfortable. The same goes for if, when removing a condom you notice an indentation at the base of the penis (like you get from wearing a tight rubber band on your wrist).
In general, if anything about how the condom fits looks uncomfortable, partners should check in.
How Do You Know If A Condom Is Too Big?
A condom that is too loose pretty much defeats the purpose of wearing a condom at all as it is likely to slide down or even slide off completely. Remember, when you put on a condom it should fit securely and lie right up against the penis all the way around. If you can slide it up and down easily, you want to look into a slimmer fitting condom.
Here are some indicators that a condom is too big:
- It flops or wobbles around
- It moves up and down the penis with ease.
Partners should be able to see that a condom is too big simply by looking at it on the penis. The pressure many feel to have the biggest penis around sometimes causes folks to insist they need XL condoms when they actually do not, putting everyone at risk. Let go of the ego stuff that can come with discussions of penis size because 1. Bigger is not always better, and your penis is awesome the way it is and 2. Keeping you and your partner safe is significantly more important than being able to say you need bigger condoms.
Finding The Right Condom Size
Okay, so now we know that condom fit matters. It is not just in terms of comfort and confidence but also choosing a condom that does not fit properly is less likely to successfully do what you bought it for: protect against STI transmission and unwanted pregnancy. We also know that not every condom can be used on every penis. So, let’s talk a bit about steps you can take to find the condom that gives you the right fit for both comfort and protection.
Grab a toilet paper roll
I’m serious! Here’s the thing, a lot of folks will tell you to take measurements with a tape measure but, honestly, my decade as a sex writer has taught me that this not-at-all scientific and kind of hilarious method is actually more likely to land you with a comfortable condom. So here’s how it works:
Slide an erect penis into an empty toilet paper roll. That’s it! If there’s space around the penis, look into slimmer fit condoms. If it fits perfectly, standard latex condoms are your best bet. And if the roll is super tight, then it’s time to check out larger condoms. Voilà!
Investigate condom sizing
So, condoms typically come in three different sizes: slimfit, standard, and large (with some companies only offering one or two of those options) but companies can vary in their actual condom measurements. With this in mind, you can explore your size category from different brands to get the perfect fit.
Try out different condoms
This is the fun part: experiment with condoms! Some establishments sell single condoms and most establishments sell 3-packs so you don’t have to commit to a big box right away. This will let you try out different brands, shapes, features, etc and allow you to find latex condoms that not only fit right but maybe have some other attributes you and your partner enjoy. All that and the testing process will be sexy AF! Test some out, see what you like and then, you can pick up a full pack of your favorites!
There are lots of ways to up your sex game and finding the right condom in the right size for you is a big one! Choosing condoms that fit perfectly and using them correctly can prevent discomfort and keep you and your partner safe and healthy so take the time to find your ideal fit.
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