So, you’ve decided to try something a little different with your partner tonight. Maybe you’ve read something especially spicy that piqued your curiosity, or maybe you just thought that your sex life could do with a bit of change whether that’s with anal toys or intercourse. It could be something as simple as one person suggesting ‘let’s try some butt stuff!’ However the idea came about, as a newbie, you’re bound to wonder how to prepare for anal play and what you might need.
But never fear! We’re covering the basics of anal intercourse and what you, and your partner, need to do to get ready to do “the deed!” Remember, the whole point is for everyone to enjoy themselves in bed. We want everyone to feel confident and sexy, so check out our seven top tips for anal fun!
1. Knowledge is Power
You don’t know what you don’t know! Many people ask, “what does anal feel like?” and so, they prepare by doing a ton of research and learning as much as possible before their big backdoor sexual encounter. We applaud the effort and want to encourage learning to make sure everyone is safe and satisfied. Websites are full of advice, although we strongly recommend only using trusted sources, so you don’t end up with bad information.
One major thing to consider is your planned anal sex position. It may be quite different than what you enjoy with vaginal sex. Your sphincter muscles are very tight around the anus and depending on your position, anal sex may be painful if you’re not sure what you’re doing. Many people enjoy doggy style butt sex because it gives your partner full access to your booty, and you can easily shift to find just the right spot. Plus, they can continually add more lube to keep things moving.
2. Practice Makes Perfect
As with anything else, the old adage that “practice makes perfect” totally applies to your backdoor adventures. Whether you’re talking about vaginal sex, or anal sex, the more accustomed you become to the various sensations, the more you’ll know what you want to achieve. There are multiple types of anal sex toys that can be used either solo or with a partner to help your body get used to the sensations of anal penetration.
Sex toys are an enormous industry, and there are literally millions of options, so finding the right anal dildo, butt plug, or toy can be a little intimidating for the first-timer. For many people, a silicone toy will be the way to go in terms of material. It is flexible enough for comfort, safe for your body, and, very importantly, easy to clean before and afterward.
Try just inserting the tip of the anal sex toy into your rectum at first to make sure you are relaxed enough to have a pleasurable experience, and go from there!
3. Keep It Clean
Whether you’re planning to use your partner’s penis or a sex toy, you want to make sure your anal canal is clean. After all, let’s be honest - most people are pretty grossed out by the presence of poop! Not exactly a turn on, is it? Luckily, there are plenty of douches that are safe to use to enhance your anal hygiene before sex.
Douching has been found to be risky for the vagina, but your booty is quite different. That’s where an enema comes in. Anal douching is a process that involves squirting water inside your anus through the douche nozzle. Simply squeeze the large enema bulb on the other end after insertion and voila! You can rinse out any remaining fecal matter in the anal canal. An anal douche may trigger a bowel movement, but don’t worry! That’s a perfectly normal reaction.
Because you will probably find there are anal douches and enemas, let's quickly share what the difference is between the two. An anal douche is most often used to clean the first few inches of the rectum, while an enema can cleanse beyond the rectum. Newbies should consider anal douches, which use lesser amounts of fluid than an enema.
That said, if you’re not comfortable with the idea of douching, it’s not an essential step. As long as you’ve had a bowel movement (ie: pooped) recently, wiped clean of fecal matter, and are all showered up, you should be good to go for butt sex or play.
4. Slow and Steady Wins the Race
It’s not a sprint! If you haven’t heard, the anal muscles are much tighter than you might think; anyone who’s ever engaged in anal play will tell you as much. So, it’s crucial to loosen the anal area up and ease into any kind of sexual activity to avoid pain or injury. Anal sex is supposed to be fun and erotic! But you have to remember that you’ve got a lot of nerve endings around your anus, so many people like to start by stroking, rubbing, or licking the area.
Depending on your partner’s willingness and your anal hygiene, (see the previous section!), many people also enjoy rimming, or having your partner use their tongue to relax the sphincter. This kind of anal stimulation has the added benefits of slipperiness and sliding the tongue in, allowing you to get a sense of what it feels like. It’s easier to then move to a single finger, and then another, slowly spreading open the anus.
5. Protect the Important Parts
You’ve undoubtedly been told again and again to use protection whenever you and a partner are planning to get frisky. For most people, they think of a latex condom specifically for protection against pregnancy and might discard their use when it comes to anal sex. Not only does that leave you vulnerable to nasty STIs, but there are many other types of protection that often get lost in the shuffle. Those include dental dams, gloves, and many other options you can look into.
If you’re switching between anal and vaginal sex, remember to slip off the condom you just used for anal and use a fresh one for the vagina. Regardless of how well you washed, the anal sphincter contains bacteria that is harmful for the vagina, so never go back to front with any type of anal play.
6. Slip, Slip, Slide Away!
If you’ve had vaginal sex before, you may be used to letting your body naturally provide the lubricant required for a fun romp between the sheets, but remember, when you’re getting ready for anal sex, you have to provide the lube since the rectum is not self-lubricating. There are multiple varieties of sex lube and if you’ve used some before, your favorite brand will work great. Many people enjoy silicone lube, or water-based, so it’s all about personal preference. Scented, unscented, flavored, the choices are endless!
For some, though, they are inclined to use numbing lube or desensitizing product. While that might seem appealing if you’re a little nervous or find it painful, the point of pain is your body’s way of telling you when something is wrong. Your anal tissue is much thinner than you might expect and can be damaged quite easily if you aren’t careful. Numbing lube may make it harder to tell if you should change something you’re doing, so it’s not always a great idea when getting ready for some backdoor fun.
7. Variety is the Spice of Life
For our more ambitious readers, we’re excited to tell you about some other options you might enjoy, in addition to or instead of your partner’s penis. One example is anal beads. Despite their fancy-sounding name, they are a string of small lumps that increase in size as you go, which can be carefully inserted into the rectum and then slowly pulled out, bump by bump, for maximum pleasure. As with anything inserted into the anus, look for strings which have flared bases or loops for easy removal.
Fisting is another anal activity to consider, although it often requires a partner, unless you’re very flexible indeed! While we recommend starting with a few lubed- up fingers to help you relax and get used to the sensations, some people enjoy taking it further and adding all of the fingers of one hand to get a firm and spreading sensation. Oh-la-la! While this isn't an activity for beginners, if you're ready for a more robust anal adventure, jump aboard that pleasure train!
In the End…
These are just a few things to keep in mind when preparing for your first fun experience with anal sex. Take it slow, stay clean, use protection, and keep everything slick. It’s also really important to talk to your partner, if you have one, about what you’re both comfortable with and establish boundaries beforehand. This way you can avoid any uncomfortable surprises or possible injuries. You can even use a safe word if you’re a little nervous for your first time. First experiences may be nerve-wracking, but with these amazing tips and tricks and a bit of practice, you can reach new sensual heights and live out your wildest booty fantasies between the sheets!
Wondering how to have an anal orgasm? Experience the wonder when you get your first anal toy from PinkCherry! If you wanna start with a beginner toy, check out an anal training kit.