When it comes to sex, certain things take on almost mythic proportions. We've heard of them, we know of people who have experienced them, and we've seen them in porn, but if we haven't experienced them ourselves, they can seem elusive and mysterious. Maybe they aren't really real? For some folks, squirting is one of these things. But not for long!
Today, we're going to demystify squirting. Read on to find out exactly what it is (and isn't), whether everyone can do it, and how one of our absolute fave toys can help you land this elusive sexual white whale. So get ready; it's time to talk squirting!
What is Squirting?
The term 'squirting' is used in reference to the expulsion of fluid from the vagina before, during, or after orgasm. It can include secretions from the Skene's gland and other liquids, including some from the bladder. That said -- please hear me when I say this -- SQUIRTING IS NOT URINATING. Studies have shown they are separate and distinct things.
Can Everyone Squirt?
Maybe?
Whether everyone can squirt is a bit of a divisive topic. Some experts believe that squirting is possible for anyone with a vagina, while others believe that, based on anatomical variations, some people may never be able to. In the last case, that opinion highlights the belief that the Skene's glands play a significant role in a person's squirting capabilities, and the size and location of those glands can vary wildly from person to person.
That said, further research is required to understand squirting fully - what makes it happen and whether or not it's possible for everyone with a vagina.
Is It Possible to Squirt With a Dildo?
Yes. If you are someone who can squirt, then a dildo is something you could use to facilitate that. As with anything, it would need to be the right dildo used correctly. So, first things first, how do you pick the right dildo?
Choosing a dildo for squirting
Long story short: you want a curved dildo with a pronounced rounded head, and you want it to be of a firm material. It can be a legitimately hard material like glass, steel, wood, or plastic or a stable silicone. The reasons you want these things are as follows:
- To achieve a squirting orgasm, G-spot stimulation is usually necessary, and the G-spot is located on the front wall of the vagina. That sexy curve will help you access it comfortably.
- The rounded head is also necessary for stimulating the G-spot. A smaller or pointy head (like you might find on a dildo intended for butt play) could make you feel like you are poking your G-spot rather than applying the consistent pressure it needs.
- The firm material is also part of that "consistent pressure" thing. You don't want your toy to go all squishy when trying to apply pressure to your G-spot. Thus, a nice firm dildo.
Once you have selected your dildo (and grabbed some lube), it's time to get down to it! Here are some tips to get you started on your squirting adventure.
Tips for How to Squirt with a Dildo
While we are all different, and what works for one person may not work for another, these general tips can help guide you as you explore squirting.
Make Sure You Are Turned On
When we are on a mission, especially when we are exploring solo, it can be tempting to skip this step and try to get right down to business. I'm here to tell you that that's not the best idea. First, arousal matters, and you deserve to feel turned on! Secondly, when your sexual play of any kind involves inserting things into the vagina, arousal is vital for both comfort and physical health. Finally, if you are trying to squirt, it will be a lot easier if you are aroused.
All that said, take the time to get turned on. Whatever that means for you. Mood lighting, erotica, porn, making out with a partner, massage… seriously, take the time to get turned on.
Don't Skip the Foreplay
If you were having penetrative sex, you probably wouldn't jump right to penetration, right? The same should go for using a dildo. This might be a nice time to incorporate a vibrator and target your clitoris or nipples - whatever feels good. Additionally, you can apply some lubricant to the head of your dildo and run it along the inner labia and around the vaginal opening.
Find The G-Spot
Once you are feeling nice and turned on, take some time to bond with your G-spot without your toy. The G-spot is located on the front vaginal wall about 1 to 2 inches beyond the vaginal opening. To find it, insert a finger (or two if that's comfortable) and feel along the front wall of the vagina for an area that feels different from the surrounding area-- it should feel a bit spongy-- that is the G-spot.
Once you have located it, you can try different methods of stimulation. Some folks swear by curling their finger in a "come hither" motion (like if you were trying to signal someone to come to you without speaking), but tapping, circular motions, rubbing, and more could all work, too.
There's no absolute right or wrong here. It's all about what works best for you.
Insert Your Dildo
Once you feel comfortable with your G-spot and you're turned on and ready, apply some lubricant and gently insert your dildo. Use the head to find your G-spot. Start by replicating the motions you were making with your hands-- tapping, rubbing, etc-- this will help ensure you're in the right spot. If you feel like you lost it and are not hitting your G-spot with the dildo, backtrack and return to G-spot stimulation with your hand for a little while before trying again.
Pressure on Your G-spot, Not on You!
Once your dildo is in place, apply solid, consistent pressure to the G-spot. Fun fact: stimulating the G-spot to the point of a squirting orgasm is sometimes referred to as "pushing the button" due to requiring this consistent pressure.
Hey, while we're talking about pressure… see what I did there? Trying new things in bed (especially stuff with a lot of hype around them) can be daunting. I also know that squirting comes with the stigma of lots of folks believing it is "just pee", which leaves so many vulva owners afraid to try it for fear of, well, urinating on their partners. There can be a lot of pressure here.
Try to let go of some of that. In terms of pressure to squirt, like with any sexual activity, take it as it comes. If you don't get there today, you can always try tomorrow (or not; totally up to you). As for the pee stuff, cover your bed with towels or a waterproof sheet if it helps you relax. But also, remember that that is not what is happening here.
Have fun with it!
These are just tips. There's no 100% right prescription for squirting with a dildo, so play around with different techniques, positions, dildos, whatever to find what works best and what you enjoy!
When pursuing a goal, we can develop a bit of tunnel vision, but remember, this is supposed to be fun! So please don't get hung up on the right or wrong ways to do it, don't pressure yourself to make squirting happen, and don't be afraid to try new things. Experiment! Enlist a partner to help you (I'm pretty sure they won't mind) or try something like squirting dildos. Make it a fun process where you can focus on what you enjoy and what works (and doesn't work) for your body. At the very least, you'll walk away with some fun new techniques to enjoy in the bedroom!
If squirting is on your to-do list, choose the right dildo (curved with a prominent head and made with a firm material), and take your time. Also, remember that when it comes to sex stuff, the journey is as important as the destination, so make sure you enjoy each step of the process.
That way, even if you never find that elusive squirting orgasm (lots of folks don't, it's totally okay), you'll still walk away satisfied.
If you're ready to start your squirting journey but need some supplies, check out PinkCherry's huge selection! From dildos to lubricant to waterproof sheets, they've got everything you need!
