Let’s (dil)DO this! Using a dildo may seem like something that is pretty intuitive, but for many people that isn’t always the case. Even though some dildos are extremely realistic and may even feel like a real penis, they can be a bit difficult to operate or just down right intimidating for first timers. But don’t be afraid to take the leap with this sex toy – because it’ll totally be worth it. And you absolutely aren’t alone! We’re here to help you navigate these new but “oh-so-pleasurable” waters. Luckily, we’ve been able to compile some amazingly helpful tips and tricks, so you can learn just how to use a dildo like a pro! Ready to explore how to make your next sensual playdate with your dildo even better? Let’s go!
Think About What You Want Out of Your Dildo
So, what is a dildo exactly? A dildo is a phallic shaped object that is used in a variety of sexual situations, whether you are alone or having some fun with another person. To get the most excitement and pleasure out of your dildo you first want to think about what exactly you want your dildo to do. If you are going to use your dildo for anal penetration, you absolutely need to find something that has a flared base, so you don’t accidentally lose it in your body. If you are only using it in a vagina, then you don’t need to worry (as much) about the flared end.
You should also consider whether or not you want the dildo to be of the realistic variety. Some people are really attracted to the penis itself, so they won’t be attracted to something that doesn’t look or feel like a real penis. Other people are a little more adventurous and may want to try an adult sex toy that is completely different to bring a new type of sensual fun into the bedroom.
The Best Dildo Positions Depend on You
It’s all about the positioning! The best way to use a dildo with a partner is to assume missionary position for vaginal sex. Have your partner lay on her back and spread her legs. To help line things up, place a pillow under her butt.
If you are having anal sex or once you’ve gotten the hang of missionary, doggy style or rider on top can help to control the depth and pace of the sex. Remember that dildo positions should never hurt. They should feel pleasurable, erotic, and fun!
If you are using a dildo alone, it may be a good idea to position yourself in front of a mirror, so you can see what you are doing. If you can lay back and spread your legs wide, you should be able to see what you are doing. Let the fun begin!
Think About the Tip
Oh, the tip! If you are a woman and want to use a dildo, you definitely want to think about the tip of your dildo. A dildo that has a more pronounced tip is going to be more likely to hit your g-spot while you are using it. Bigger tips can be harder to use for those just starting out or those who have troubles with mobility, so you may want to consider that as well. But usually, a bigger tip equals a bigger reward when messing around with this sex toy!
Start on The Smaller Side
Bigger isn’t always better! If you are just starting out with a dildo, you want to start on the smaller side, especially if you are going to use it anally. Even if a dildo looks to be small, it is going to feel a little bit bigger in your body, no matter where you decide to use it.
Starting on the smaller side can allow you to learn more about your body, what feels good, and how you respond to certain things. You want to start with a dildo that is smaller in width, especially if you are experimenting with anal play. While you can control the depth, you use the dildo at, you cannot control the width – it’s all or nothing!
If you know for sure that you enjoy bigger, wider packages in your sweet spot, then go for it! Wider width dildos are definitely an option, but you should get something that is a bit more tapered for a smooth ride.
Think About the Size of The Person Using It
While starting small is a good idea for most people, there are some bodies that may benefit from a larger dildo. People who carry their weight on the lower halves of their bodies may need something that is a bit longer to get the stimulation that they require. This is where you want to know your body – or your partner’s body!
Pay Attention to What Kind of Use Is Recommended
Don’t be shy – asking for help is 100% ok! While there are a ton of dildos on the market today, not all dildos are intended for all uses. If you are interested in pegging toys or wearing a dildo with a harness, you want to find something that you can comfortably attach to your body.
If you are interested in anal penetration rather than vaginal penetration, you want to consider the shape of the dildo. Rubbing or massaging the prostate is a bit different from hitting the G-spot. Be sure to read the description to see what the dildo should be used to do before choosing your sensual sweetheart! At PinkCherry, you’ll be able to find a wide assortment of dildos in a variety of different shapes and sizes. Whether you are shopping for an anal dildo, a suction cup dildo, or a glass dildo, you can find it all through our online selection.
If You Are Struggling, Add Lube
Lube, lube, lube! We just can’t say enough good things! If you have trouble inserting the dildo into your chosen spot, then reach for the lube – usually, you will want to use more than you think you should. Lube makes everything easier because it helps reduce friction and makes your erotic romp even more pleasurable. While your vagina can self-lubricate, it may take a while and a lot of stimulation before there is enough lubricant to help ease in a dildo. It’s also good to know that the anus does not self-lubricate, so you will always need to use lube there.
To help preserve the life of your dildo, make sure to use a water-based lubricant instead of any other kind, and try to avoid using any lubricant that has a taste unless it is specific for use in your body.
Condoms Can Be A Good Fit as Well
It might sound strange, but some people enjoy the familiar feeling of condoms. There are also some other benefits to help maximize your pleasure - they are usually lubricated (and tend to stay lubricated), they can protect the dildo against wear and tear if you are a frequent flyer. They can also reduce the amount of cleaning that is necessary following your little erotic escapade. Just be sure to get a condom that actually fits your dildo, as they often tend to slip off.
Go Slow
Pace yourself for unlimited pleasure! While it may seem like you should go faster to make everything feel good, try to take it slow – at least at first. Go slowly and ease your way into it. While you may likely speed up at some point, the first few minutes should be slow and steady until you get the feel for it. And then, let the experimentation begin!
Of course, you don’t have to opt for slow and soft all the time, but you should absolutely go slowly at first until your body is accustomed to the glass or silicone dildo.
Be Sure Your Harness Fits Properly
A good fit makes a huge difference! If you are having trouble using your harness and dildo, it could be that they aren’t compatible with each other. Make sure that the ring on your harness is compatible with the base of the dildo. You also want to ensure that your harness is pulled tight enough and worn on the right spot. You want to position it at the appropriate area so that your two bodies line up properly.
Make sure that your harness is snug but comfortable, or you may not be able to use the dildo for a long time, which could be leading to some of your issues.
Think of your dildo harness like a new pair of shoes. If you feel uncomfortable at first, feel free to wear it around the house a little bit and break it in. This sounds strange, but it can help you to understand how it moves, how your body responds, and what it takes to move it. Once you get in the groove, it’ll be smooth, erotic sailing!
Talk To Each Other!
If you are having trouble using a dildo with a partner, you need to communicate with each other. If you are the one using the dildo, you will have to ask how things feel, pay attention to facial expressions, and be ready to try new things if something doesn’t seem to be working.
If your partner is using the dildo on you, tell them when something feels good - or at least show them. If all else fails, take matters into your own hands. You can take the dildo and let them watch what you are doing or get on top if your partner is wearing a harness. The key is to be patient and flexible until you discover exactly what feels right.
Know That All Dildos Aren’t for All People
If you are having a hard time with a specific dildo, it may be the dildo and not you! It could just be that it isn’t a good choice for you or a good fit for your body. Some dildos aren’t going to be fun, pleasurable, or effective for all people, and that’s okay. Just like not all shoes are designed for all people, sometimes a dildo just isn’t your “cup of tea.” If something doesn’t feel right, remember what about it worked and what didn’t work, and try again with a new dildo companion.
It may also just take some time. It could be that something doesn’t work right at first, and then, it does. So, give your dildo a chance. It could be just the timing or the way you are using it that isn’t clicking. Next time you pull it out, you may feel differently. So, stay flexible, positive, and open-minded.
Clean It
Cleanliness is key! When you are finished having fun with your dildo, you definitely need to clean it. Every single time! But did you know you also need to clean it before you are going to use it? No matter which part of your body you use your dildo for (your mouth, vagina, or anus), it is going to accumulate bacteria and bodily fluids, and when it’s not playing with you, it can collect dust and debris. Obviously, you don’t want any of these things in your sweet spot, so cleaning your little buddy is a priority. So how do you clean a dildo you may be wondering? Clean it with mild soap and water before and after you use it to keep yourself infection-free!
How to Insert A Dildo
Alright, it’s go-time! If you’re wondering how to insert a dildo, you will want to take the following steps:
1. Make sure that the person on whom you are going to use the dildo is turned on and prepared for the dildo. If you are inserting it anally, you may want to do some stretching with your fingers before inserting a whole dildo. If you are inserting it vaginally, you can do the same thing. In both instances, use lube to ensure that friction doesn’t cause pain or discomfort.
2. Insert the tip, and take a breath. You want to allow the person to get used to the feeling of the dildo in their body - or if you’re the pleasure recipient, then you want to make sure it’s comfortable for you before proceeding.
3. Slowly push more of the dildo inside and continue taking breaths. This whole process could take some time, but that is completely okay, because a body that is better prepared for the dildo will have a more enjoyable time.
4. Start with more shallow thrusting. You don’t want to immediately start with long strokes, as this can be uncomfortable for some people, and it can lead to the dildo slipping out, which can ruin the mood in some cases.
5. Don’t forget the lube! If you are going at it for a long time, your lube will start to dry up and drip off, so you may need to add some more. You can never have too much lube! Remember, it’s all about comfort and your sexual pleasure!
Using a dildo is an amazing pleasure ride once you learn the basics and get in the groove! Just like with all other aspects of sex, you need to explore how to move and use your dildo, and there is nothing better than giving yourself time to do this. You will eventually become a pro with your little companion, and then you will just need to practice, practice, and practice some more! The great news is that most people don’t find this to be a chore! So, grab your dildo and head over to Pleasureville for some sexy fun whenever you’re ready!
