What is Guided Masturbation?

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HWhat Is Guided Masturbation?


When we’re answering the question “what is masturbation,” we tend to think of a solo activity that helps release sexual desire, right? At the same time, when we think of any type of partnered sex or masturbation in a relationship, we typically (for better or for worse) don’t usually think of following instructions as part of the equation. Well we’re about to change all that!  Today we’re talking about guided masturbation, an exciting and indulgent way to take your self pleasure to another level!


What is guided masturbation? 

Guided masturbation is exactly what it sounds like: someone - or several someones - are guiding you, or giving you instructions, as you stimulate yourself with or without adult sex toys. The instructions are usually given orally, and they can come from a partner, an audio recording, or even an unrelated third party (we’ll talk more about that in a little bit). Utilizing verbal instructions and a little imagination, guided masturbation can be an exciting way to level up your self pleasure exploration (especially for masturbation in a relationship).


Why guided masturbation?

So, why might you want to add guided masturbation to your sexual repertoire? Well, masturbation itself comes with a whole bevy of benefits like getting to know your body (including what works for you sexually), stress relief, relief from menstrual cramps, and-- of course -- sexual pleasure, Guided masturbation, however, comes with some bonus benefits that make it worth trying.

For a lot of us-- especially folks born with vulvas-- masturbation is enjoyable, but it can also come with a bit of “am I doing this right?” anxiety. Additionally, the stressors of everyday life can creep into our heads and take us out of the pleasurable moment. Guided masturbation is terrific for several reasons:

  1. It tells you how to provide yourself with sexual pleasure. You don’t have to think about what to do or how to do it, you can simply follow the masturbation instruction and enjoy the sensations. It’s like a shortcut to less thinking and more feeling.

  2. Having a voice to listen to can help drown out the stressful thoughts that want to creep in. Guided masturbation gives your brain something to focus on without taking you out of the pleasurable moment. 

  3. It can lead you to explore things you hadn’t thought of before, enabling you to find new paths to pleasure. 

  4. Not only can it help you discover what feels good for you but because guided masturbation involves verbal instructions and descriptions, it can help you find the vocabulary to express what works for you to partners which is always good.   

    Okay, so now that we know why you might want to engage in guided masturbation, how do you get started? So glad you asked! 

    How to engage in guided masturbation

    If you want to give guided masturbation a spin, there are several ways you can do it. And, as we live in the future now, most of them are easily accessible via your phone!! 

    Guided Masturbation Audio

    Between the internet and adult content-specific apps, you have a ton of audio options. Many feature audio that speaks directly to the listener in ways that run the gamut from narrative-- along the lines of audio porn-- to instructional. Including a variety of guided experiences, different routines, or even instructions geared toward the use of specific vibrators. Additionally, you might let your partner talk you through masturbation over the phone as a way to connect when you are apart.

    Guided Masturbation Video

    Do you want some visual stimulation? You can try guided masturbation in the form of pornographic movies, custom made guided masturbation videos, or guided masturbation session with a partner either via pre-recorded video or a live video chat. 

    In-Person Guided Masturbation

    So, this one is not for the shy, but there are workshops where trained and experienced leaders (typically somatic sex coaches) guide attendees through a series of steps intended to help participants get in touch with their bodies as well as experience powerful climaxes. 

    No matter which form of guided masturbation you opt for, treat it like an indulgent self care ritual. Make sure you have the space, the time, and the privacy to fully engage and enjoy yourself. Then, after your guided masturbation session is over, take some time to think about what you enjoyed, what you may have learned, and how this can all inform your future sexual exploration.  

    If you are up for trying something new, check out guided masturbation, it’s a low pressure way to add something special to your sex life. 

    If you need some vibrators, dildos, or other accoutrements for your guided masturbation adventure  PinkCherry’s got covered with a huge selection of toys, props, and more!


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    Written By: JoEllen Notte

    JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, sex educator, and mental health advocate whose work explores the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, mental health, and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site The Redhead Bedhead as well as for Glamour, The BBC, Bitch, PsychCentral, and more. JoEllen is the author of The Monster Under the Bed: Sex, Depression, and the Conversations We Aren’t Having.