Prostate Massager Guide for Beginners

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Ah, the prostate massager. The pleasure-inducing sex toy that can bring you or the man in your life the most explosive orgasm a guy can have. If you've never used one before, a prostate massager can lead to an entirely new level of erotic ecstasy — and who wouldn't want that? Prostate play has become mainstream for men of all sexual orientations. There are a ton of prostate massagers out there, but how do you use them and which toys are the best? We're walking you through the basics of how to safely enjoy this miracle toy with our go-to prostate massager guide.  


What is a Prostate Massager & How Do You Use it?

A prostate massager (along with some quality lube) is used to pleasure the prostate gland. The prostate gland is a walnut-sized organ that is found strictly in men. It is located between the bladder and the penis, and it sits directly in front of the rectum. The gland's primary function is to secrete fluid that then feeds and protects the sperm. But the prostate gland is not strictly used for reproduction. Through a bit of gentle pressure, you can bring about a truly body-wrenching orgasm that is only found through the P-spot. But there are a few important things you should know if it's your first time dipping into prostate play. 

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How to Find the Prostate

If you haven't used a prostate massager before, you'll want to begin by finding your prostate and exploring the area a little. Don't worry, it's pretty easy. All you need is your hand and some lube. 


  1. Begin by taking a shower and cleaning up down there.
  2. Make sure your fingernails are trimmed.
  3. Get into a comfortable position where you can easily reach into your anus. Try lying on your back with your knees bent. 
  4. Apply some lube to your index finger and anus and gently slide your finger into the rectum. You'll want to stop when you get to the second knuckle. At this point, curl the tip of your finger toward the belly button.
  5. Gently feel around and pay close attention. Once you hit on an area that gives you a slight tingle or buzz, you've hit the prostate, my friend!


How to Use a Prostate Massager

Once you've found the prostate, you can begin to play around. Using a prostate massager is a mind-blowing experience when done correctly. The following is a brief overview of how to safely use your new prostate massager.


  1. Try to have a bowel movement at least an hour before starting — and before you shower. While not required, it can help you avoid a messy situation. 
  2. Before you begin, take a breath and relax both your mind and body. This is the key to enjoying your prostate massage. Whether this means taking a hot shower or playing soothing music, do what helps to relax you best.
  3. Set aside some time. Prostate play is not like traditional masturbation — this is a marathon, not a sprint. 
  4. Choose a quality prostate massager that will allow you to apply consistent pressure and leave your rectum feeling full in the best way possible.
  5. Have everything at the ready, including your massager, lube and a towel. 
  6. Get into position. Lie back on the bed, bending your knees up and pulling your feet toward your butt. This will allow you to easily reach down between your legs to insert the prostate massager. At this point, you'll want to generously apply lube to both the toy and the sphincter (trust us, your rectum will thank you).
  7. Now, slowly insert the toy, making sure it's properly in place, and relax. Close your eyes and give your body 20 minutes or so to adjust. 
  8. After the relaxation phase, begin contracting and releasing the pelvic floor (the same move you make when stopping urination midstream). As you do this more and more, your prostate massage will become more pleasurable, making your orgasm easier to achieve over time. Try exercising these muscles in your spare time to practice. 
  9. Continue to contract and release your muscles. If you get tired, take a break and resume when you're ready. If this is your first time, or even your sixth time, don't expect to reach orgasm. Enjoy the ride and know that with a little practice, you'll be reaching that big O in no time. 


The 5 Stages of a Prostate Orgasm

When you've reached the point where you can regularly orgasm through the use of your prostate massager, you'll begin to notice that there are five core stages. 


  1. Stimulation. This is the beginning stage when you gently massage the prostate gland and apply pressure to the rectal wall. 
  2. Contraction. If you're massaging correctly, you'll notice slight contractions of your sphincter and pelvic floor muscles. You should also have a sense of warmth and fullness in both your rectum and the surrounding pelvic area.
  3. Buildup. At this point, you should begin to feel tension around the prostate gland. Every sensation should begin to intensify and heat up.
  4. Tremble. If you're doing everything right, you should feel your pelvic area and your extremities begin to tremble. Stick with it and don't stop. Be sure to keep the pressure consistent, focusing on your prostate and not your penis (we know, this can be difficult).
  5. Orgasm. Now, the feeling of fullness and warmth should be at its ultimate peak. The insane sensation of p-waves will begin to radiate through your body. Note that with a prostate orgasm, there's no need for a recovery period like there is for more traditional orgasms. You can keep going for as long as you'd like!


Shop We-Vibe Prostate Massagers at PinkCherry

Most Popular Types of Prostate Massagers 

When choosing your new prostate massager, you have a few O-inducing options to choose from. From vibrating versions to glass models, there are prostate massagers to satisfy every desire. But which is the best prostate massager for you? Check out some of our most popular products below to find your new P-spot bestie.

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The Manual Prostate Probe

When starting out, you'll most likely want to begin with a manual prostate probe. This will get you used to the feeling of having a sex toy up there and give you total control to discover what you like and what you don't.

The Anal Fantasy Electro Stim Prostate Vibe is just the thing to help you test the limits of backdoor pleasure. This flexible toy is shaped to easily align with both the upper anal wall and the prostate, allowing you to easily reach those sweet spots. For a more intense massage, simply grip the wide handle and rock back and forth. And don't forget, you'll want to use a good-quality water-based lube for this bad boy. Afterwards, just use soapy water or your favorite toy care fluid or foam for cleanup.



My wife ordered this toy for me as We wanted to see what would happen. Well I got so into it that she was getting turned on as well. I had a huge orgasm within 10 minutes and while I was still going thru the after-glow effects in about 20-25 minutes I had a second orgasm while the toy was still in me."



The Vibrating Prostate Massager

If you're looking to have a little fun with your partner or just want to amp up prostate solo play, vibrating prostate massagers provide an incredible sensation unlike anything else. Think of it as the better, faster and stronger version of the manual prostate massager

The We-Vibe Ditto Vibrating Silicone Plug is an incredible sex toy that is designed to seek, find and deeply stimulate the P-spot. And the smart design prevents too-deep penetration while the angled tail throbs against the perineum. Plus, the extra flexible Vector allows you to try out different angles in order to find the one that fits you or your partner best. With ten sheet-grabbing, hair-pulling synchronizations and both remote and Wi-Fi control, this ingenious vibe has revolutionized both couple connectivity and single-use stimulation. And for lube? Stick to those of the water-based variety.



“This thing is so awesome! It delivers a deep rumble and a high-intensity vibration to your prostate. Oh man, it's sooo goood. When you climax, it makes it 100 times better, I'm talking full-body orgasm. If you are a first-timer at prostate play, this is a great start.”



The Glass Prostate Massager

A favorite of many, the glass prostate massager has an incredible heft and feels incredibly substantial inside of you. Plus, glass is extremely receptive to temperature, so feel free to heat it or cool it prior to play for an added layer of pleasure. 

The extra-special Wireless Pleasure Probe provides an unrelenting massage that will have you pulsating from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. This dramatically angled prostate massager features an extra-large taper and is decadently firm, perfectly designed for prostate stimulation. And not only can this be used to reach a man's P-spot, but it is also perfectly designed to give a woman some good G-spot love, too. 

Aside from its pleasant weightiness and smooth texture, the Pure Indulgence is incredibly hygienic, meaning when it's time to clean up, you can boil it, bleach it, wipe it clean with soap and water or use a quality toy cleaner — it can even be run through the dishwasher! Wondering about lube? This toy can be used with any type of lubricant or massage oil.



“This one is my reliable go-to for whenever I am wanting to get there fast, and for a hard finish. The angle makes it really easy to handle and hit the p-spot each time.”



Tips for Choosing a Prostate Massager

Now that you know some of the best prostate massager options on the market, it's time to get into the nitty-gritty. Finding the right one for you can seem daunting, especially if you've never dabbled in sex toys before. While it may take a little trial and error on your part to find the right prostate massager for you, the following tips will guide you in your search for the best prostate massagers.

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Tip #1: Consider the Handle

While the part of the massager that goes into you is of the utmost importance, it also can be equally important to consider the handle. Some toys have a circular handle whereas others may just include a flat base. How you hold your prostate massager can have a huge impact on which toy will work best for you. Think about your body and any physical limitations you may have.


Tip #2: Look at the Size

If you're just starting out with prostate play, you're most likely focused on the size of the sex toy, which is understandable. But typically, prostate massagers are designed around their shape and not just their size. You'll want to stick to something a tad slimmer, about an inch or less in diameter at first. Over time, you can work your way up to a larger, broader toy.


Tip #3: Go Hands-Free

Once you've gotten comfortable with prostate play, you might want to consider some hands-free action. These toys, through a rocking motion, can do the massage work without any assistance. There are even prostate massagers with remotes to allow you or your partner to control and finish the job.


Tip #4: Good Vibrations

Vibrating prostate massagers are nice, but they're not for everyone — and that's totally ok. If vibrations are something you think you'd enjoy, consider trying out a vibrating massager. There are options that include a spot for a removable vibrating bullet if you're unsure. If you know vibration is for you, go with a product with built-in vibrations for a more powerful orgasm.


Tip #5: Perineal Stimulation

Perineal (taint) stimulation is typically built into the prostate orgasm. Because of this, a lot of toys will often include a small tab in the base for stimulating this area. You may need to test to see if this is for you or not. Many can find the sensation uncomfortable and opt for versions without this tab. To test it, try pressing on the area with your finger to see if you enjoy it. Only you know your body, take the time to really explore it and discover what you like.


Tip #6: Read Reviews

This one is probably the most important. Before taking the plunge and purchasing a prostate massager, make sure you're thoroughly reading the reviews. Look for good, unbiased and detailed reviews that will give you an idea of how the massager will work for you. If you're just starting out, look for toys that work well for beginners. As you get comfortable with prostate play, you can begin to explore more advanced prostate massagers. 


Discover the Best Prostate Massagers from PinkCherry

Shop our extensive selection of prostate massagers to find the right sex toy for you or your partner. From cock rings and prostate plugs to anal probes and couple vibes, we have something for everyone. Have a question or need additional information about our selection of prostate massagers? Reach out today.

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