Because of established norms in Western society, the first thing that comes to mind when we think of the word "relationship" is usually a couple — two people who are romantically (and sexually) committed to each other. In other words, a monogamous relationship. There are, of course, so many different ways for people to love and get jiggy with each other — and no way is any more "normal" or "right" than another, as long as all parties are consenting. We have a whole series committed to talking about the different kinds of relationships, but today we're focusing on the monogamous type and how you and your partner can be happy and fulfilled in a closed relationship.
What Does Monogamous Mean? And What is a Monogamous Relationship?
In reference to relationships, the term "monogamous" describes an exclusive partnership between two people. This could mean a relationship in which a couple engages in sex only with each other or a marriage in which two people are legally bound to each other. However, different people have different ideas about what monogamy means to them, which can lead to uncomfortable situations if couples aren't totally open and honest about their expectations from the get-go.
Defining Your Monogamous Relationship
You've probably heard the saying about what happens when you assume — "it makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'." When you enter into a relationship with the expectation that it will be monogamous, you need to sit down with your partner and clearly discuss how you define monogamy, rather than making assumptions that could hurt one or both of you later on. During this discussion, you can build a sort of contract that clearly outlines the boundaries of the relationship that you both need to stick to in order to build trust and respect as you grow together.
The first thing you can both consider is whether you want to be in an open or closed relationship. Most monogamous relationships are also closed, meaning that a couple can only be emotionally, romantically and sexually involved with one another. This situation works well for many couples, but for others it can be too restrictive. As such, some couples redefine a monogamous relationship as being emotionally and romantically exclusive while being sexually open. For example, a couple may participate in a threesome, or one partner may be allowed to pursue another person sexually, as long as they are open and honest about their intent and do not become romantically attached to the outside person. And practice safe sex to avoid catching and spreading any sexually transmitted infections or diseases.
Don't be surprised if you and your partner have different expectations of what a monogamous relationship will look like. When you reach these differences in the conversation, it's important to reach compromises that satisfy both of your needs. Remember that the rules you set now don't have to be set in stone — you can always revisit your contract later and change it up according to how you've grown as a couple. You and your partner are living people — your relationship should be allowed to live and grow along with you.
How to Keep the Passion Hot in Monogamous Relationships
One of the big arguments made against monogamous relationships is that they can be too sexually restrictive — people will be driven to cheat when they get bored with their stale closed relationship! This, of course, couldn't be further from the truth when both parties in the relationship are open about their feelings and desires...and are willing to be a little adventurous together.
We're guessing you know where this is going. Get some sex toys in the mix! They're ideal for enhancing the fun you and your partner already have together, and for opening the doors to new sexual experiences that could totally rock your world. Vibrators would be perfect to start out with, since they can be used for so many forms of stimulation: g-spot, p-spot, clitoral, erogenous zones, you name it! We have plenty in store for you in our catalog of new sex toys.
We also have tons of sex toys for couples that you can enjoy whether you have no experience with toys or you have a whole drawer dedicated to them. Here's a few of our favorites for folks in monogamous relationships!
- Satisfyer Endless Love Multi Vibrator In Lilac : It's not the most traditional-looking vibrator, and that's why we love it! This vibe is great for couples who want to experiment with lots of different sensations.
- Clone-A-Willy/Pussy Kits: Is your monogamous relationship also long-distance? Use these cloning kit to keep a version of your favorite genitals close at hand!
- We-Vibe Nova 2 Rabbit Set: This one's for all the techy couples out there! This vibrator connects to the We-Connect app, allowing you to control the sensations your partner feels while wearing it.
- Beginner's Bondage Kit: Curious about bondage or BDSM as a whole? This starter bondage kit comes with a blindfold and wrist and ankle cuffs to remind you of how fun being tied down can be.
- Pillow Talk Couples Card Game : Sometimes we all need a little TLC! This kit comes with wax candles, massage lotion, edible body paint, faux rose petals, a lover's coupon book and so much more to make sexy time even sexier.
Shop the Full Selection of Couples Sex Toys at PinkCherry
We've barely scratched the surface of all of the couples sex toys we have to offer at PinkCherry! Whether your monogamous relationship has lasted a month or a decade (or more), you're sure to find something in our selection that will have you both feeling the love tonight — and every night after. Check them all out today!