Who among us has not played a little Cloak and Dagger, or at least fantasized about being an international man (or woman) of mystery? Bond always did have the best toys, next to Batman, of course. While the toys we’re talking about here don’t fire off rounds of ammunition, or cause literal explosions, they will help you fire off a round of your own, and blow your, and your partner(s)’s mind(s) when you’ve found some play time.
Look at that, you have just found some spare time in the middle of the day. No one is around. What’s a spy boy to do? We’re all thinking the same thing, right? Whether your Moneypenny partner(s), or best playmate(s) is around the corner, or you’re staring at the corner of your cubicle, home office, storefront door, or into oblivion with the weight of the umpteenth quarantine on your shoulders, we have some sexy suggestions to help you carpe your peenem the way we all know Bond would. Because if spy movies have taught us anything, it’s that there’s always time for a tryst, a fling, or a rendez-vous, even if it is with just you. What better way to relieve that tension and stress than to stroke, suck, tickle, and thrust the pain away.
If you’re looking for an adult sex toy that satisfies your needs while escaping plain sight, take a spin through our suggestions for additions to your tickle trunk that offer — sometimes — hidden delights that will turn you into Doctor YES, YES, YES!
Cock your doodle do
One of the most unsung discreet sex toys for your boy(s) is the classic cock ring. Only you know you’re wearing it (unless you’re having some partner or group play), and depending the cock ring’s material and design, you could literally keep it on your keychain, and no one would be the wiser. That’s some Q-level secrecy right there.
Cock rings (also known as penis rings) made their way onto ramrods around about 1200 CE. You have to trust a toy with that kind of longevity, no? Cock rings were invented to help your tallywhacker tickle the night (day, midday) away. Thankfully, technology has evolved since those original C-rings were sometimes made with, shall we say, more organic material, Goat eyelids, specifically.
Today, penis rings are made with many different materials like silicone, leather, medical grade metal, and some come with all varieties of vibrating parts and prostate massagers. Some cock rings have multiple vibration modes to enhance stimulation and bring your pleasure to new heights! For those with a penis, a vibrating cock ring is not only a pinnacle of external stimulation, but these discreet little vibrators are small enough to get past a discerning eye.
You will need to find the right size and material for your penis. Try putting your balls and phallus through, and then riding with the ballsy twins in the back to see what works best. Remember, only fools rush in ... to cock rings.
These classic adult toys are the ideal discreet “male” sex toy as they help you reach new pleasurable sensations while being small enough to fit into small places like your pocket, wallet, or purse.
Stroker of penius
When you’re up for a quick fling with you and yourself that feels just like the real thing, male masturbators and strokers are the perfect toy to get you all that hair-raising joy. When you want a touch of the real, let a penis sleeve or stroker made with lifelike materials do the work. These inviting inventions fit like the juicy lips (top side or below) or sphincter of your favourite porn star, and can deliver on-the-go blows with tongue and teeth intact for a dose of reality.
If you're looking for a masturbator that gives you the stimulation and pleasure of oral sex or the pleasurable sensation of anal play - masturbation sleeves, strokers and pocket pussies are great sex toys for men to explore.
Some of these pretty little pussies and asses are beaded, vibrating, or even pocket-sized.
Best of all, many strokers can fit in a backpack, desk drawer, glove box, or briefcase. Plus, many of these toys come in discreet packaging that makes them extra incognito. Take your fun on the run, and who’s the wiser?
Note: To get the best external stimulation from your masturbator, make sure to use lots of lube.
Did someone say joystick?
For those with a prostate, consider this your salute. Prostate massagers can tickle your taint, pamper your perineum, and deliver the kind of orgasms that will make you wonder why you never played eye spy with this orifice before.
Most prostate massagers come complete with controls for your partner, deliver thrusts, rotate, and vibrate to target the pinnacle of pleasure for many prostate owners. With some that look like joy sticks (seriously, I played Atari with something that looked just like this), anyone could find this and pass right on by. Explore your back door, and take your sexy games to the next level with a discreet sex toy that has a secret only you know.
There are, of course, other anal sex toys that can be pleasurable for the prostate area. There are numerous butt plugs, anal beads, and wands to explore to reach your next orgasm.
The name’s Bond … Bondage, that is
Before we get into this, let’s remember that this kind of play requires safety first. Talk safe words, language restrictions, boundaries, and then you and your plaything(s) can get all bound up in the boudoir. You may think there’s nothing “discreet” about bondage, and you’re not wrong, but with starter bondage kits that come with eye masks, silky long scarves, and fun-coloured whips, these kits could easily be confused for an air travel kit or your riding accessories (although, they kind of are your riding accessories, right?).
If you’re into a little shaken not stirred action along with your freaktini, then level-up to a bondage set. Many of these include things like ball-gags, BDSM collars, leashes, whips, fuzzy ticklers, and blindfolds to turn your spycraft-y surprises into delightful screams for more.
If you’re into a lot of make believe, and you like to play with yourself, or some fun friend(s), just remember to be careful, their bowtie could really be a camera! Whatever you’re into, have fun playing hide and seek with your partner(s) or yourself. In other words, be the spy who loved yourself - or your penis owning playmate!
If you’re interested in exploring more a broader array of sex toys, check out our blogs on “Best Sex Toys for Trans Men” and “Best Sex Toys for Trans Women”.
