Anal intercourse can seem risky and a little intimidating, even for experienced connoisseurs of pleasure. Just reading a raunchy novel might spark some interest, but they usually leave out the nitty-gritty details. So, if you and your partner are planning to try out the back door or you want something a little different for your own sexual pleasure, we’ve got some great tips on techniques and positions to clear up the question of how to have an anal orgasm.
Working Up to It
First things first - before you jump right in, it’s important to remember that anal sex is quite different from vaginal sex. A little bit of foreplay might usually be enough to get you ready, but it takes a lot more time, preparation, and patience for anal pleasure. In order to achieve an anal orgasm, you must know how to prepare for anal play. Practicing with an anal training kit can also help you stretch and experiment with what works best for you.
Stimulate the Area
Your partner can use their tongue to get you used to the feeling of something touching the sensitive area, or you can use your fingers and anal toys to gently spread out lubricant and slowly open up the anal sphincter.
The tongue may not be long enough to stimulate anything too deep inside, but it can do wonders on the anal area and preparing your partner to receive. Switch back and forth between swirling the tongue around the entire anus and pushing the tip firmly in the opening a few times. Eventually, the rim should loosen and allow your tongue more access.
Add in the Lube
Believe us when we say that you can never have too much lube. Your body isn’t naturally prepared for anything to come in through the back door, since the rectum is not self lubricating, so you need to be gentle and provide your own slipperiness to avoid injury. Although the sensitivity is enticing, it also means that the tissues in the anal area are very thin and can easily tear. That’s both extremely painful and may lead to serious concerns. Regardless of how much lubricant you think you need, always add more for a clean slide.
If you use your fingers, make sure that your fingernails are freshly shorn and cleaned. You definitely don’t want any unintended scratching in such a sensitive area! We also cannot stress enough that you must wash your hands, both before and after anal play. Your hands can pick up bad bacteria as you move through this backdoor exploration, and you don’t want to get a possible infection. Plus, the anal canal carries its own bacteria which you don’t want to transfer anywhere else. We also recommend anal douching to help your toy or partner’s fingers or tongue avoid fecal matter.
Slowly Add Pressure
Insert one at a time, proceeding knuckle by knuckle, as the receiver takes slow, deep breaths to get used to the sensation. of anal penetration. Once you’re more comfortable, crook the finger upwards. This helps you find the spots that really make you moan. You can then gently apply pressure to those specific spots, pushing and then easing off. Alternatively, you can circle your fingertip around the area if the spot itself is too sensitive for direct pressure.
If you or your partner has a strong wrist, you can simulate vibrations by moving your hand quickly. We recommend waiting until they’re almost there to take them over the edge for this method or you might end up with a very sore hand.
As you work up to the main event, try some other erotic activities to help really set the mood. Fantasizing, reading or watching erotica, or taking a hot bath can help you loosen up and get ready. The bath doubles as a time to get completely clean and rinse everything out, which is something that your partner will definitely appreciate.
Positions Make a Difference
Relaxation is the most important part. As we mentioned above, the anus needs a little more TLC before it’s ready for penetration.
Many people prefer the doggy style position, with the butt in the air, to give your partner full access. The position naturally stretches your hole, as well, and makes it easier to apply more lubricant and control the speed of the encounter, so everyone enjoys themselves.
However, if you’re wanting to fully recline on your back, or stay eye-to-eye with your partner, you can try a modified missionary position with a few pillows under your backside to elevate it. If you’re by yourself, another possibility involves lying on your side and raising one leg towards your chest. You can either reach straight down between your legs or up and around your outer leg, whichever way is more comfortable for you.
If you’re using a dildo or vibrator, anchor it to a chair or other flat surface and then straddle that surface or kneel. You have complete control over the depth and speed of penetration, so you can find what works and what doesn’t. This position obviously also works if your partner has a penis or a strap-on. Lower yourself slowly, letting your body get used to the penetration. Take deep breaths and take it slow and steady. The patience will definitely pay off in the end.
The important part is that the penetration device is completely stable and anchored. Unlike a vagina, which isn’t very long, the large intestine is, and things can get lost up there, if you’re not careful. We never want anyone in the heat of the moment to have to stop and run to the local emergency room because you’ve lost track of a sex toy and can’t get it back out again. This is why anchors, suction cup bottoms, and flared bases are so important when choosing your anal sex toys.
One part of semen is produced in the prostate gland, which is found in people assigned male at birth. Because of its involvement in sexual activity, the prostate gland tends to swell when aroused and become quite sensitive. So sensitive, in fact, that you may be able climax solely from anal stimulation.
So, where exactly is the prostate? While it’s approximately two inches in the anal canal, between the sphincter and the penis, most people don’t have a ruler handy during sex. Luckily, you don’t need one to still have an anal orgasm. The more you stimulate your erogenous zones beforehand, the easier the prostate is to locate. Try feeling for a firm sphere of flesh of tissue inside the rectum, which will feel soft and rubbery.
For some people, prostate play is enough to reach their peak, but it takes some practice and a fair bit of patience. Everybody is different, so you’ll need to experiment to find what’s right for you. A prostate orgasm feels similar to a penile orgasm, although most people say that it’s more intense and reverberates throughout the entire body. It’s also common for some milky fluid to ejaculate during one, although usually not as much as during a penile orgasm.
Stroking the penis during anal play can make for an incredibly happy body, too. If you’re the giver, try to reach around and stroke the entire shaft, or get the receiver to do so, and you can try to match the pace in both areas to help your partner reach new erotic heights.
Some lucky individuals can even have two orgasms in a row, one penile and one anal, if both places are being pleasured simultaneously. After a penile orgasm, the prostate is especially swollen and easy to locate, though it may be hypersensitive and slightly painful to touch. However, if you stroke it gently, you may be able to achieve a secondary orgasm quite soon after the first.
Orgasms Without a Prostate
For people assigned female at birth, anal play can still be for you! We’ve all heard about the G-spot, but did you know there’s another, the A-spot? It’s short for anterior fornix and is about 6 inches deep in the vaginal canal. An anal orgasm works by indirectly stimulating that spot and, for many people, feels absolutely amazing.
You can also enjoy a blended orgasm which is when two different spots are being stimulated simultaneously, for a truly mind-blowing experience. For example, if you, or your partner, can split their attention between thrusting and rubbing the clitoris, you may feel pleasure sensations you’ve only ever dreamed of. Some toys are specifically made for people looking for a combination vaginal and anal intercourse and are double-pronged. This allows for double penetration for double the pleasure!
Plenty of people without prostates can and do enjoy anal sex, whether or not they can have anal orgasms. But if at first you don’t succeed, don’t worry! As long as you, and your partner, have a good time and enjoy yourselves, your anal play can be well worth it! Some people can’t orgasm anally, no matter how much they practice, and that’s perfectly okay! Have fun and experiment with what turns you on. It’s your body; do what feel best for you!
The Bottom Line
Now that you know how good a little booty touching can feel and know how to have an anal orgasm, it’s time to make good use of the information. Be patient, and take time to explore your own body and preferences with your fingers and adult sex toys, so you can tell a partner exactly what you prefer. Or you can continue to fly solo! It’s totally up to your own pleasure preferences! After all, who knows your body better than you?
Whether you choose to enjoy your anal orgasm with a butt plug, prostate massager, anal beads, or your partner, we're all here for it! Browse our collection of anal toys so you can indulge in the glory of anal pleasure.
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