Recent years have seen huge shifts in the sex shopping world, and among them is the popularity of strap ons. Open sexual dialogue, the willingness to challenge sexual gender roles of the past, and, frankly, better shopping options have all come together to bring strap ons into the mainstream.
Like any other pleasure product, strap-ons are now not only normalized and fairly easy to find, they are also available in a whole array of different styles. On one hand, this makes finding a harness and dildo that you like so much easier. On the other hand, with lots of choices comes the potential to be totally overwhelmed and not know where to start!
Whether you’re new to strap on sex or you have tons of strap-on experience, the sheer volume of choices and options you face when shopping for harnesses and dildos can sometimes feel like a little much. And honestly, finding the best strap on dildos for you can be a bit tricky. Just like with a vibrator or a butt plug, how much pleasure you derive from your strap-on will depend on what you (and your partner) enjoy.
That makes it difficult to confidently proclaim, “this one is good, and you should buy it.” We all have different tastes, after all. What I can tell you is that you’ll want your harness to feel both comfortable and secure (it shouldn’t be shifting or falling down), and you’ll want to pair it with a dildo or penetrator that the wearer feels comfortable wielding and the partner on the receiving end enjoys.
So, with that basic understanding of things you want in a strap-on or harness, let’s dive a little deeper. Let's talk about exactly what a strap on is, what types of harnesses exist, the bells and whistles that can take your strap on experience to the next level, and more. Read on to check out a variety of strap-on options, what they do, and why you might enjoy them!
What is a Strap On?
Just in case some folks aren’t familiar with strap-ons, let’s get clear on what exactly a strap-on is. In the simplest terms, a strap-on is something someone wears to penetrate their partner - and yes, it usually has straps, but not always. Also, the term ‘strap-on’ is often interchanged with ‘harness’. A strap-on or harness system secures a dildo, vibe or penetrator to its wearer. Strap-ons can give folks without penis a taste of what intercourse is like on the penetrating end, and they can give folks who were born with penises more pleasure tricks for their sexual toolkit.
When it comes to how to wear a strap on, there are many options to choose from. There are also many options to choose from. Generally (but not always, more on that in a minute) a strap on is actually two separate items: a dildo and a harness that holds the dildo in place. These can be purchased separately, allowing users to mix and match until they find their ideal combination or to use a selection of different dildos with their favorite harness, or they can be bought in a set, like the Strap-On And Silicone Dildo Kit.
Again, when we talk about strap ons, we are usually referring to a harness that you or your partner would wear around your/their hips. There are, however, strap-ons designed to be used without a harness, as well as harnesses meant to be worn on someone’s thigh, chest, or even face.
Harnesses
As I mentioned above, there are multiple kinds of harnesses that work in all kinds of different ways. That said, the most popular type of harness is the kind that is worn around the waist, so let’s spend a little time talking about the ins and outs of that type of harness. Harnesses designed to be worn around the hips come in a whole array of styles:
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Three strap/jock
This style features a loop around each leg as well as one around the waist and fits like a standard jock strap. The multiple straps allow users to adjust for a comfortable fit and help them maintain solid control of their sex toy. Additionally, jock-style harnesses leave the wearer’s genitals and butt easily accessible which makes for more stimulation possibilities.
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Two strap/g-string
This type of harness consists of one loop that goes around the waist and another that goes between the legs (and, ultimately, between the butt cheeks), fitting like a thong or -- you guessed it!-- a g-string.
A g-string harness gives the user a decent amount of control over their dildo (more or less depending on the thickness of the harness). This style does not leave the genitals exposed, but some users note that the middle strap can provide anal and genital stimulation during movement.
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Corset
In addition to being very aesthetically pleasing (seriously, these look awesome on!), corset-style harnesses offer wearers a solid amount of support. They feature a loop around each leg, and the band around the waist cinches together (like a corset would). This style usually leaves the genitals and anus bare, allowing for easy stimulation.
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Underwear
Between comfort, ease of use, and aesthetics, there are a bunch of reasons this harness style has exploded in popularity. Designed to be easily pulled on and to fit like regular underwear, they are available in a whole array of styles ranging from boxer briefs to beautiful lingerie.
Something to remember about under-wear style harnesses is that they are often less supportive than other styles, so they may not work great with a heavier dildo. Also, perhaps obviously, this type of harness typically covers the genitals and anus (though some feature sexy cut outs!).
What you choose will depend on a number of factors including comfort, size, style preferences, and what penetrative sex activities you want to be able to engage in while wearing your harness. Something to remember about any kind of harness is that it will require a harness-compatible dildo or vibrator. To be harness compatible, your penetrator needs to have a flared base to fit securely in your strap-on’s O-ring or connection point.
Some harnesses have an opening cut right into them for dildo attachments, and others use snaps or velcro to secure a metal or rubber ring slipped over the base of your penetrator. For optimum versatility, harnesses with O-rings are a great choice. They’ll allow you to switch out the O-ring to accommodate dildos of many different sizes and shapes.
When it comes to selecting a dildo to use with your harness, I have two tips:
- Make sure the person being penetrated is in on the choice. It will be going in their body after all!
- When in doubt, go long! Typically your harness eats up an inch or two at the base of the toy. Then, during anal penetration, some of the toy length can get used up simply getting past the receiver’s butt cheeks. Knowing that, consider a longer dildo that you would typically choose.
Now that we’ve covered some of the basics let’s talk about some of the other strap-on options available to you (there are a lot!). We’ll look at what there is, how it works, and why you might want to consider each choice.
Vibrating
When it comes to sex toys, vibrating is probably the most popular feature. That said, dildos, like the ones used in strap-on play, are often defined by the fact that they do not vibrate. And while the “dildos don’t vibrate” sentiment is often true, there are a whole bunch of exceptions should you want vibration to be part of your exploration.
In this case we are talking about a feature rather than a toy style so there are a couple of different ways to approach it.
When you are looking for vibration, you might consider a dildo with a vibrating unit inside it (often a removable bullet vibe). The vibe can be removed if you’re not in the mood, so buying a vibrating strap on dildo can give you the best of both worlds. Keep in mind that not all vibrating dildos allow the vibrating part to be removed, but a whole lot of harness-compatible styles do. A vibrating dildo may even come equipped with remote controls for convenient use.
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Harnesses with a bullet vibe pocket
These are pretty much exactly what they sound like, harnesses that come equipped with a spot to insert a bullet vibe. Much like a dildo that can accomodate a bullet vibe, the strap on harness allows you to add vibration when you want, and to not have any extra parts in the way should you decide to forgo the vibes.
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Strapless strap ons
We’ll talk about this style of strap-on more in just a minute, but they belong in our “vibrating strap-on” conversation because many strapless strap-ons can vibrate. In fact they tend to be more like actual vibrators in that many come with multiple vibration speeds and patterns.
Vibration can add a little something special to your lesbian strap on play whether it be by making the penetrator vibrate to delivering vibration to harness-wearer, or both! Sound good? You have soooooo many fun options available to you!
Strapless
Strapless strap-ons are sometimes referred to as “double dildos” because they penetrate both partners. The two terms are not synonymous, though. Some double dildos are long floppy tubes, while others look like two dildos joined together at the base. What sets a strapless strap on apart is that it’s designed to function like a strap-on, meaning that it’s positioned at the front of the wearer's pelvis. To achieve this, most strapless strap ons feature a full-sized dildo to penetrate the receiving partner and a shorter, especially swollen bulb that’s inserted into the wearer’s vagina.
The logistics of using a strapless strap on, specifically the pelvic floor strength and dexterity required to wield a dildo that is attached to one’s vagina, can be daunting. With that in mind, it can be helpful to remember that despite the name, this type of strap-on can absolutely be used with a harness, taking some of the pressure off the wearer. An added bonus: many strapless strap ons offer vibration and other powered features typically found in a vibrator. There are even rechargeable and remote-controlled strapless dildo styles.
Chin Strap-Ons
Earlier I mentioned how, when it comes to strap-ons, it’s not all about the standard hip and thigh harness. So, let’s talk about chin strap-ons! I know, the chin might not be the first place one thinks to attach a dildo, but this style is actually quite popular. A chin strap-on positions a dildo at (as you might expect) at chin-level, which happens to be perfect for penetrating a partner during oral sex.
Chins don’t get to have all the fun though! Another popular option is the thigh harness. Designed to be worn around the upper thigh, this strap-on option allows the wearer to penetrate a partner who is straddling or grinding on their leg - hello, hottest lapdance ever!
Strap-Ons for Men
So, when we talk about strap ons, it can be easy to assume that the users will be folks without penises. After all, strap-ons often play the role of “penis”, right? Sometimes, yes, but there are plenty of reasons why someone born with a penis might choose to use a strap on. These reasons include but are not limited to erectile dysfunction, desire for a larger penis (even temporarily), double penetration play, desire to experiment with the best strap on sex positions, and more. Let’s look at two types of strap ons that are popular for use alongside a penis!
Hollow
A hollow strap-on is a strap-on compatible with or including a hollow dildo or penetrator. It’s meant to be worn over a penis, giving the wearer a little extra length and girth without requiring them to use any supplements or penis pumps. Hollow strap-ons are also a great option for folks who are experiencing erectile dysfunction, as they do not require an erection to use. All that said, hollow strap-ons can be used by folks of any gender and with any genitals.
Double Penetration Rings
A double penetration cock ring strap-on is basically a bonus penis that attaches to an existing penis or other penetrator. This allows a wearer to provide their partner with double penetration - ie. anal. They’re typically equipped with stretchy straps that can go over the shaft of a penis or dildo and loop underneath the testicles or the base of the dildo. Those straps hold the toy securely in place during use.
So, yes, there are plenty of strap-on and harness options! Don’t let that scare you away from strap-on play, though! Spend a little time figuring out what you and your partner enjoy, then experiment with one or all of the many strap-on types. The journey is half the fun, as they say!
If strap-on play sounds like fun, head on over to Pink Cherry! With their huge selection of adult sex toys (including tons of anal toys!), lube, props and more your’re sure to find everything you need for the comfortable, safe, and super-fun strap-on experience you want!
